We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
