well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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