Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
