But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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