Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
