discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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