im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Holy shit dude........stairs
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
