Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
