that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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