I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
