Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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