i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize