Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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