Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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