Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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