thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
