we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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