I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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