True but thats because hes a fetus.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
