...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!