we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
