i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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