Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
