she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize