What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
