I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
