her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
