Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...