She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
accomplished twins. life is a go
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
