Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
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I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
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That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god