She's JV to your varsity
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
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