where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered