I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.