North Korea, Best Korea!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in