She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
pray to the hookup gods