I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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