Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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