I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
