Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize