hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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