How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
