do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
