I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
