He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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