Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
