Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
that is very illegal...i love you.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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