just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize