One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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