I think my vagina is haunted
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
