you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
