you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize