I only kidnapped one of them. chill
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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