Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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