found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
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I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
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Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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