people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I was not drunk enough for that final.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
