whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
