i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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