cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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