the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
