I will die if light touches me.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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