I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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