the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
