I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize