I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
