I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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