I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize